Two-Faced

It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep, so it's time for another rant!

By the way, let me be clear that I only intend to be funny, maybe a bit cynical, but these rants are usually nothing I dwell on... it's just fun to rant sometimes!

So the rant of the night: two-faced people. I'm talking about the ones (almost always women, BTW) who are all sweet and complimentary to your face and say nice things to you, but once you leave, tear you to pieces. Unfortunately, we live in a society in which it is taught that conflict with other people is wrong, and that saying anything negative about a person to their face is unacceptable. But saying it behind their back is okay? Apparently.

If you've read my previous posts (or know me at all) you know that I whole-heartedly disagree with this. I value genuinity in people very highly, and I believe that honesty is the only way to build healthy relationships. Now of course, there are some things (even if they are true) which are better left unsaid, but that applies both to the face and behind the back. Leave it alone.

But if you really need to say something negative to a person, think it through, get it out tactfully and constructively, only once and never again. Once you've said what you need to say, stop there. It's that simple. Most mature people will appreciate your openness and honesty, and will appreciate it even more that your criticism is limited to those occasional incidents and isn't repeated when you're not around.

True, it takes a lot of guts to approach someone and talk to them about the issues you have with them. But believe me, it eliminates the bigger issue of having things stretched out over a long period of time, blown out of proportion and given the potential to ruin trust, and ultimately, friendships. So buck up, speak up and then let it go.